What Do You Have to Say?

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What do you have to say?


When I last blogged on Thursday I posed this question to the wide, wide, web, and gave myself a sneaky out to not have to answer it for myself until today.And I think I have my answer.

It's you don't have to be afraid.

I have struggled with fear as long as I can remember. I remember being afraid of the dark as a little girl. I remember being afraid of hell and damnation very early. I remember being afraid when a Democrat was elected. I was also afraid of being fat forever (I was the largest kid in my friend group until I was 12.)

More subtle fears crept in as I grew older. Fear of rejection from peers, fear of being though lazy, fear of being overlooked, fear of making mistakes and being an economic reject for the rest of my life and never having a steady job. Fear of being a bad daughter, a bad sister, a bad friend. Oh, and goody, after I married I could be afraid of being a bad wife.

Depending on your own experience and powers of deduction, you may know what the antidote, or at least the result, of these fears is: busy-ness. You become an absolute PRO at whipping yourself into a frenzy of productivity for anyone and over anything just to avoid having any of these fears come true.

Of course, the trouble is, they're so often self-fulfilling prophecies that once we allow them to master us, we're usually able to upset something or someone pretty well just the same.

The more women I talk to, the more magazines I read, I find that these are the fears that honestly bind us together; it's what we have in common. At least we're on the same page!

Having felt fear all of my life, I've also had the privilege of critical time and relationships that have helped me go head-to-head with many of these fears. I've had people who have helped me name them, sit with them, hold them, and at the end of the day deal with them so that they don't rule me.

I walk with them, yes,  and they often follow me around, but when I look them in the eye I can see them for what they are--sensitivities, perhaps, emotions, maybe, and even warnings. But not my masters.

I remember going through a little book with my mother and brother when  I was in high school. The book was called "From Fear to Freedom," and in its humble paperback form, it was one of the most powerful messages I've ever received. Rose Marie Miller connects the Gospel with these internal fears we harbor and answers them with truth: You are enough (you are God's) and You have enough (God provides).

It was radically practical, holistic thinking that affirms our broken, afraid, human thinking, and turns us to find our identity in God. This was so freeing to me because it meant that I didn't have to seek validation from anyone (the peers I so desperately wanted to please) or anything (finances, furniture, my looks or a seasonal wardrobe). My intrinsic worth came from my Maker, and nothing external could change that.

This is an idea that changed my life. I keep returning to over and over and over again, and it shows up in my writing, because I see these fears so often at work in those around me. I see it in myself constantly. And  I want to write about the daily work of returning to the truth that I am enough, that God provides.