Seeking Shelter

And I think my home is just Heaven's reflection, as long as my home's here with you.

Michael Card

From Greatjoy.com

 

It's a pretty old song, and one that was passed around mainly in conservative Christian circles that only listened to Michael Card. Well, after they finished their Bill Gaither tapes.

But it's one I've thought of ever since I was a little girl, as the first connection I ever made that home, as in our physical dwelling, bore, or could bear, any resemblance to a spiritual home, a home for the soul. It was also the first time it occurred to me that a spouse, or at least a roommate or loved one, could help sustain that metaphor.

I was lonely many times when I lived by myself, but I don't think I realized how lonely my heart actually was/is until I married. When I lived alone I learned to develop a certain callous over the extra-tender spots. Not that I ignored them or pretended they weren't there, it was just a developed sensibility to say, well, there's nothing I could really do about it.

 I supposed if I had a more extroverted personality I might have begun dating like crazy or something. But I didn't. I just let it be.

When Nathan and I married and this introvert could let her guard down, I started realizing what a needy, lonely person I was. Since I wasn't maintaining the callous the tender spots could be felt-- little hurts, little alonenesses, little frustrations, little fears--that I had previously shrugged over.

But whereas I ignored them before, I had a choice as a married-- to impose all my needs on Nathan and demand he heal and fill them all, or acknowledge them, discuss them with him, and ultimately take them to the One who actually has the capacity to heal and to fill.  

My husband isn't God, nor am I, and we cannot heal one another's wounds--that's ultimately God's business. But I'm realizing we are placed here to be with one another and provide comfort for one another--no small benefit of the married life. And in our conversations, in our acceptances of one another, we are working on doing just that.

Our relationships, our homes, have the potential to be soul shelters to one another--homes without walls that last. 

 For the full song: "Home" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PYQyDh8-Neo