Enjoy

Just got back from a quick turn-around weekend up in Cincinnati where my brother lives. Some friends were throwing him and his fabulous fiancee an engagement party so Nathan and I, along with my parents, packed up the cars and headed up I-65 to I-71. It was great, the couple was celebrated, and the party kicked off what promises to be a full, fun and busy year of wedding preparations.

I've written before about traveling, and how I've come to love it for shaking up my soul a bit, getting me out of my dogged routines and perspectives and helping me refocus when I come home.But even as a I love what travel does for me, it's often hard in the process. I get carsick easily, and apparently after 30, sitting for more than 2 hours constitutes foreplay for a nap, so I'm not always the most fun traveling companion. Plus, if family is involved, I usually have just enough time to think about how things could go wrong, what I could do to make it better, and from there figure out how to control everyone else.

Then I stay in my head and don't air out any of these ideas, so naturally I become irritable when Nathan doesn't do exactly as I *think* and follow my mental vibes. He's just going along haphazardly, thinking everything's fine. The nerve that man has.

Ahem. But anyway, I tried something different this weekend. I tried just enjoying myself.  And it was awesome.

My brother and fiancee did a fabulous job hosting us in a way that was completely them--sharing favorite restaurants and sites that they loved with us. Nathan did what he does best, be completely present, telling stories from work and family, talking about his hobbies (many of which Stina enjoys too), my parents and Stina's shared their stories, and the mix was awesome. It was unique, better than anything I could control. And I could just enjoy it.

On the way back home, I was a little sad. I usually am after a visit. I want to wrap up Wes and Stina and take them home with us. But that's not where they are; it's not their home. Nathan and I chatted about our thoughts and feelings from the weekend and finally resorted to turning on a Broadway Pandora station, and sang show tunes all the way home. We were cracking up by the time we got to our front door.

What I'm trying to say is this. For us planners, for us controllers, being present is mighty hard; we're always trying to think of the next step. But I miss so much joy and uniqueness when I do that. Now, it doesn't mean that I don't take care of me or am unwise in considering what comes next, but when it's safe, simply being present is powerful. You'll get new ideas and experiences, maybe even new show tunes.  Enjoying the moment is like a little kid and an ice cream cone, catching every dribble with the tongue, licking up all the delicious messiness that's there.

Learning to enjoy is like learning to live in the present. Being fully there, tasting all that life has to offer.