When My Hands are Weak

Things have been a little full.

This past week was a slam-and-hit-the-ground-running kind of week for both the husband and myself. Between his work and mine we agreed that the past week seemed more like a past month or three. Throw in the achingly cold record temperatures and the accompanying cravings, inactivity, and weight-gain that follows, and yeah, crazy week.

Not to mention that when I get physically uncomfortable, this often translates into emotional and mental discomfort as well--a pervasive antsy-ness coupled with anxiety. It was enough to nearly immobilize me on several days, taking me hours to do something I should have knocked out in 20-30 minutes.

Oh yeah, and I had a BUNCH of writing to do. Nothing like looming deadlines, cold weather, and anxiety to put me in a state of mental constipation to rival a Wonder Bread diet. I strained as best as I could and mechanically produced the required word count. But all weekend I was sore, angry, and frustrated with myself as I resentfully refused to open my email or reread anything I had written. I was exhausted.

But as I sit down this morning, already having wandered around, had a thorough breakfast, and now drug myself to the computer to face myself again, I see a verse that I found a few weeks ago that now has a semi-permanant home on my desk. It reminds me of Who I write for, Who I live for, and what makes it all matter:

Strengthen the weak hands, and make firm the feeble knees. Say to those who are of a fearful heart, 'Be strong, do not fear! Here is your God. He will come with a vengeance, with terrible recompense. He will come and save you.' Isaiah 35:3-4 (MSG)

Scripture is full of good, meaty, weighty metaphors--ones that sometimes we're all too quick to pass over as merely "spiritual," but I love when it hits on an image like this, that's both spiritual and physical: "weak hands...feeble knees...fearful heart..." Surely I'm not the only one who relates to this? How many times have we been nervous, and our hands were shaking, our knees were the consistency of sand castles, and our hearts literally pounding? And all of it caused by something--whether an identity crisis, a public speech, or a relationship confrontation. And yet, we can be assured, "God will come and save you."

I'm not saying that He'll whisk us out of the problem, but I love that encouragement, "Be strong, do not fear!" That thing you're actually afraid of? Well, you don't have to be afraid of it. God will save you--whether from it or through it--but He'll be there.

I need this message when I sit down to write and all my accusers come to me, saying I'll never do it right. I need this message when I've humanly messed up and simply need to walk backwards to make it right. I need it after a hard day, when I'm not sure I've done anything worthwhile. This fear, these weak hands, these feeble knees, need saving, and as I look at this verse I'm reminded of the truth of Who saves me. Not me, but God.

So I'm taking that with me today.  Time to start writing.